A – ABU
Everybody is against them and any critic of Man Utd becomes one of these. Everybody is an ABU and this only further unites the squad against the whole world which conspires against them.
B- Boots
Usually the object thrown at players by the manager at half time should the team be under-performing.
C - Cheated
Usually the reason why Man Utd have been beaten in a competition
D - Diving
Should this act be performed, it usually results in a penalty for them.
E - Envelope
Usually the method in which the refs are paid via cash, these are usually Brown.
F -Fergie Time
There are three different time zones in England, BST, GMT and FWT (Fergie’s watch time), FWT works in magical ways, should Man U be winning then seconds and minutes seem to go by rapidly, should they be losing or drawing, the seconds and minutes seem to go by ever so slowly.
G - Gibson
Better than Lampard, Fabregas and Gerrard apparently and a replacement for Scholes. Any good or bad performance can be attributed to this man.
H - Howard
Howard Webb arguably the best player, plays a key role in stopping goals going in against Man Utd and assisting goals, a very versatile player for them.
I- Impugn
This applies to any criticism of Man Utd
J - Jealousy
We are all jealous of their success and club, which again only further unites the club as a whole.
K - Korea
Where half of the ‘fans’ come from.
L- Liverpool
No matter what happens, win or lose. This football club becomes more important than their own, with so much time devoted to the ongoings at this club. It is the reason for their success apparently.
M - Media
Plays a crucial role in covering up Man Utd misdemeanours, should a decision go against Man Utd, the whole world apparently needs to know and news spreads quicker than Princess Dianna’s death, should a decision go for them, it hasn’t happened of course.
N - Negative
The style of football played away from home against technically superior teams in order to avoid defeat.
O - Own Goal
Probably the top scorer for them and so prolific, clearly a one club man as I’ve never seen him do devoted to one particular club.
P - Puppies
The managers trained by Fergie to roll over for them when in need of points and increase in goal difference.
Q - Quiz
The things referees face should they not give every 50/50 decision Man Utd’s way. More often than not this results in a ref being dropped from the next game.
R - Ronaldo
The man who was able to single handedly win trophies and amazingly carry 10 other men whilst doing so.
S - Sky
The main form of propaganda used to try and assure the world that they are in fact the best thing since sliced bread.
T - Transfer records
Smashing these time after time for players allows the success to continue, should any other club do it , then it isn’t fair and football is being ruined.
U - Unemployment
Again, another thing referees face should they upset Fergie.
V - Vindication
Something that often happens should a Man Utd player commit a blatant offence, this does not apply to players of other clubs.
W - Winning
The reason why the ‘fans’ support them in the first place, helps increase the fanbase. Should this stop, the ‘fans’ will be off quicker than Usain Bolt in a 100m sprint.
X - Xylophone
Creates noise, something unheard of at Old Trafford apart from when Prawn Sandwiches are being chewed.
Y - Yen
The currency used in Japan, where the other half of their fanbase comes from.
Z - Zzz/Zero
The former describes the style of football played at Man Utd and can often make you do this (see Blackpool fan on ESPN yesterday for example). Watching Man Utd play has often been described as the ultimate cure for Insomnia. The latter also refers to how many times the average Man Utd fan has been to Old Trafford.
